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 Vaxn Oro (Complete)

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Vaxn
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PostSubject: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:39 pm

Name: Vaxn Oro (Formerly Van Akihiko)


Age 18


Gender: Male


Race: Youmei


Birthday: October 11th


Zodiac Signs: Libra


Height: 5'10"


Weight: 135 lbs


Eye Color/Shape: Black 


Hair Color/Style: Red & Orange/ Is actually fire resembling a spiky mohawk.


Skin Tone/Build: Orange/Skinny


Unique Features: Skin as hot as fire, hair is actually fire.


Written Description: 
Vaxn stands out among his peers due to his orange skin that glows bright orange. His skin is also hot to the touch, and can burn someone who touches him for more than a couple seconds. His "hair" is actually a constant fire produced by his ridiculously strong Fire-natured chakra. Because normal clothes would burn away on his body, he wears his clan's special made fire resistant clothing, which has a high class look to it, like that of royalty, and fits the clan name "Akihiko". Because of his natural glowing skin, Vaxn is never in need a source of light in the dark, but also makes him a terrible choice for stealth operations.
His hot body temperature will evaporate small amounts of water such as rain drops, but any sort of contact with water will induce a stinging pain, making him avoid rainfall. If he were to fall in a body of water, he would suffer extreme pain and all his Fire-natured chakra would be focused into his heart to keep him alive, leaving his skin in a light purple color, and long flowing purple hair instead of a firery mohawk.


Picture(s):
Spoiler:
 
]http://illiweb.com/fa/pbucket.gif[/IMG][/spoiler][/url]



Faceclaim?:
Flame Prince (Created by Natasha Allegri for Adventure Time)


Personality; 
Vaxn may be made of extremely hot fire, but he has a warm heart and a very shy demeanor. Unlike the other members of his violent clan, Vaxn does not like hurting others or needless destruction. He is very cool-headed and able to assess situations in a calm manner. Preventing casualties is the most important thing in a mission to him, other than the completion of said mission, and he does just that. Around people though, he's a nervous wreck and distances himself from humans, due to fear that he might hurt them. This also shows in his fighting, as he's quite confident in his ability, but often holds back a lot of his power fearing he might lose control. Vaxn also has a strong sense of justice and will always stand up for the right things and against wrong things. 
Vaxn's Will of Fire leads him to believe in both of the opposing principles of the Senju and the Uchiha. He believes the central idea of peace is love, like the legendary Hashirama Senju, but he also knows that some people cannot be moved by love, and in order to have true peace and be able to protect and get results, one must have power, just as the legendary Madara Uchiha. Its due to these beliefs that Vaxn would be very strict if he were ever to have students. He'd heavily teach the principle of love, but would also push his students to the point where they'd become very powerful shinobi.


Vaxn has a strong fear of losing control and giving into his evil blood. When he loses control, Vaxn becomes a murderous machine, the very image of a raging fire. He doesn't think about dying or hurting others. All that goes through his mind is burning everything around him to ashes. When he loses control, he'll continue to rampage until everything is destroyed, he loses conciousness, or the voice of someone he cares about reaches him.


Even though he's not human, he can feel attraction to human girls. He gets very nervous around pretty girls and has a hard time talking to them. When flustered, his skin's temperature becomes hot enough to make the entire vicinity around him very hot. His "hair" will also burn more intensely, giving him the appearance that his hair grew in length. 


Likes/Dislikes:


Likes;
-Peace
-Dry places
-Raw food
-Nice people


Dislikes;
-Wet places
-Accidentally setting fire to things
-Violence
-War
-Evil


Nindo:
To defy his evil blood and prove to the world he can be a decent person.


Catch Phrase 
"Sorry!"


Place of Birth: 
Kaze no Kuni


Resident of: 
Hi no Kuni-Konohagakure


Class:
Shinobi


Rank:
Jounin


Job:
Hokage's Aid


Title:
The Raging Flame


Element(s):
Katon


Combat Skills(s):
*Ninjutsu- 50
*Taijutsu- 10
*Genjutsu- 10
*Fuuinjutsu- 0
*Iryojutsu (medical)- 0
*Bukijutsu (weaponry)- 40
*Sensory- 10



Stats:
Strength: 10
Agility: 40
Stamina: 40
Constitution: 40
Dexterity: 40
Wisdom: 40
Fate: 0





Clan/Bloodline: 
Akihiko Clan


Special Abilities:
Major- Bloodline Ability (Master of Fire): Able to master Fire natured techniques in half the time, and all Fire jutsu take half the chakra to use. Bodies are immune to all fire jutsus B-Rank and lower. 


Minor- Can digest anything


Flaws:
Major- Extremely weak against Water: All water jutsus take double the damage. Will experience extreme pain when coming into contact with water. If in contact with water for more than half a minute, will enter a doused sate where he is unable to use any chakra until dry. 


Minor- Very physically weak (Cannot increase Strength or Taijutsu stats)



Family Members: All members of Akihiko clan.


Backstory
Birth-
Deep in the endless flames of the Akihiko clan's den, a strong flame was born. The elder members of the clan watched the strong flame come into this world, and expected great things from it. They named the new flame "Van" and began shaping him into an exceptional Akihiko. 
The Akihiko had never been on good terms with any village, and although they allied themselves with whoever payed them, they were essentially under the complete control of Kirigakure. The village had a larger amount of Water natured shinobi than any other village, an the elders of the Akihiko knew that to go against that village meant the utter annihalation of their clan. So they stayed in the shelter of a hot volcano, doing small things like assasinations for money, hoping for a strong enough flame that could burn so hot even water couldn't touch it, so they could launch an attack on Kirigakure. If Kirigakure fell, they would finally be free to wreak havoc and bring endless fire upon the world. And Van was seemed to be that flame.


Childhood-
Van had a much more grueling upbringing than the other Akihiko his age. Because he had the hottest chakra out of every other Akihiko child, he was subject to more intense training and even torturous experiments. Van would constantly be thrown into bodies of water by the clan's elders, an act that brought upsurd amounts of pain amongst Akihiko. Van's flames were doused everyday, and everyday he looked death in the face. Even for a child who couldn't understand such complex emotions, Van hated his clan. He always looked at other beings with such envy. The world outside the volcano was so beautiful, yet he couldn't touch anything without it burning. If his burning hot body was able to, he would have cried the first time he grabbed a butterfly and it disintegrated in his palm.
His clan took absolute pleasure from burning things, but he didn't. He was bullied often by the other flame children, as he refused to join them in setting forests on fire and roasting wild animals. 
One day while in a forest, Van sat huddled and alone in sadness while the other kids ran ahead. A shinobi from the Leaf found him, and offered him some candy, but it burnt to a crisp when Van touched it.


"Fire only ever destroys things. I wish I could touch things without it burning. And I wish my family would all be doused so they couldn't destroy things anymore." said Van.
"My comrades have often told me tales of teir encounters with Flame People who were masters of the fire element. They told me that they were a bloodthirsty, evil clan that wished for nothing but to turn the world into the image of the Underworld. But...you're obviously not like that. If you're the future of the Akihiko, then maybe just one day you'll find a way to touch the world without burning it. Your clan may be an evil flame, but you hold a different kind of flame in you." said the Leaf ninja.
"What kind of flame, mister?" Van asked. The shinobi touched Van's chest, pointing to his heart and ignoring the boy's body burning his finger. "The Will of Fire." 

The man left Van and returned to Konohagakure, and Van sat there smiling. He wanted to do just as the man said and change his destiny. Van carefully filled a bucket with water and when the elders came to put him through more training, Van threw the water on them and ran away as fast as he could, their screams of pain echoing through the air. He was a good two days from Konoha, but he didn't stop running and made it there in one night. When he reached the gates, he collapsed in front of a bunch of guards, completely exhausted from having ran like that. The guards found he was too hot to touch, and had no information on Akihiko members. But one shinobi returning from a mission recognized the flaming child. He ran into the village and quickly returned wearing metal gloves, and carried Van inside. He quickly made a non flammable bed for the boy, and when Van woke up, he fed him some raw food. 


"Well if it isn't the Fire Boy. So you decided to follow your heart then huh? Well I'm sure the Hokage will be happy to accept you. You can stay here as long as you want. I won't mind. I'm Ginrei Miyamoto. And you?"
"My name is Vaxn Oro" he replied. He instantly cuffed his mouth in suprise. He muttered his name again, still saying "Vaxn Oro". No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't say Van Akihiko. It was tradition for members of the Akihiko who betrayed their clan to have an "X" inserted into their name. In addition their last name would be changed from Akihiko to Oro, as they'd be regarded as nothing more than lowly snakes that went against their own kind. He didn't regret his decision, but Vaxn still felt a sense of sadness upon saying his new name.


Becoming a shinobi:
Despite having the mastery over Chunin level ninjutsu, Vaxn struggled over other fundamentals, such as shuriken throwing, and written exams (papers and books kept burning up). Eventually, Ginrei took him to a blacksmith, where he had metal gloves fitted to his hands. For the first time in his life, Vaxn was able to touch his surroundings. He was the happiest he'd ever been in his life, and although they were not from the same clan or the same species, Vaxn viewed Ginrei as a father figure. Ginrei pushed him to do better in school and become a stronger shinobi. Vaxn was weak in taijutsu, but he never lost in sparring as everyone was afraid of punching his hot skin.
Eventually over time, Vaxn graduated and became a Genin.


Genin-
Vaxn was far ahead of his team mates as a Genin. His high level fire ninjutsu made dangerous missions against bandits and the sort very easy, but menial missions like catching lost cats and other physical labor was very ill suited for him. Still, his talents were recognized and he was quickly reccomended for the Chunin Exams, only half a year after becoming a Genin.
No other Genin could stand up to his power in the Exams. His glowing skin made him and easy target in the Forest of Death, but his powerful techniques made up for it, and carried him through the final exam, though Vaxn always held himself back from seriously burning his opponents. He remembered the pain of constantly being doused when he was younger, and didn't want to see anyone else experience that. He had been observed for possible candidancy to join the ANBU, but this trait of holding back quickly lost him this possibility. None the less, he was still promoted to Chunin.


Chunin- As a Chunin, Vaxn was placed in charge of squads and missions, and hardly ever failed. Finally, one mission he was placed in the same squad as Ginrei. Their mission was to protect a diplomat in the Land of Iron. Vaxn and Ginrei knew many assassins would be hired to take the man's head. However, they were wrong. Two days into the mission, Vaxn's squad had encountered to threats either than wild bears. It was suspicious. It was also winter, but Vaxn found there was no snow and the air to be hot. A large burst of flames shot out and set the surrounding trees on fire, trapping Vaxn's squad in a ring of fire. An Akihiko clansmen rose from the flames and disintegrated half of Vaxn's squad in mere seconds.


"You...you're an Akihiko! Were you hired to kill the Diplomat?!" Vaxn asked.
"Yeah...what a surprise finding a lost flame. I'm essentially getting paid to kill a dirty traitor!"
The ensuing fight was catastrophic. The diplomat was taken to safety, but the entire forest was burnt to the ground, and Ginrei was killed. Vaxn eventually triumphed over the Akihiko by using a technique that lowered his body to a normal temperature for a couple minutes. Vaxn picked up his "father"'s body, finally feeling something without it burning. He remembered Ginrei's teachings and how he changed his destiny, and he cried liquid tears. When he returned from his mission, he was praised for his skill in defeating a dangerous opponent like the Akihiko and managing to protect the client, and was promoted to Jounin. 


Jounin;Present- Vaxn continued to prove his strength and skill, never straying from his path to be a strong member of his clan that didn't destroy everything in sight. Even the Hokage took note of his power, and offered Vaxn a job as his assistant. He does this job well, but does occasionally burn the Hokage's paperwork by accident.


RP Sample:


Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Vaxn on Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:14 pm; edited 8 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:03 am

This is awesome, I'd like to say, very unique! So I assume you will be making this fire person clan? Anyway, I know ou aren't finished yet, but I hope you don't mind me grading what I have seen so far.

So....

Quote :
Weight: 35 lbs


Why does he only wiegh 35 lbs? Is his race of Youmei actually made up of firey gasses? And if so, how is he solid and how is he able to wear clothing? I'm sorry if this all seems specific but I'm sure you'll explain!


(BTW I like Adventure Time too! I have a Fin and Jake shirt)


Quote :
Personality;
Vaxn may be made of extremely hot fire, but he has a warm heart and a very shy demeanor. Unlike the other members of his violent clan, Vaxn does not like hurting others or needless destruction. He is very cool-headed and able to assess situations in a calm manner. Preventing casualties is the most important thing in a mission to him, other than the completion of said mission, and he does just that. Around people though, he's a nervous wreck and distances himself from humans, due to fear that he might hurt them. This also shows in his fighting, as he's quite confident in his ability, but often holds back a lot of his power fearing he might lose control. Vaxn also has a strong sense of justice and will always stand up for the right things and against wrong things.

Please try and add atleast one more paragraph here!

Quote :
Minor- Can digest anything

He can digest anything? Could you please give more detail of how he does this? I'm sure he can't drink water or anything made with water, right?

Also Other thing is there IS a Lava Release Clan, and since it is already a clan, I am sorry but I cannot allow you to have Yoton.

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:07 am

Thanks for the help, I'll remove the Yoton. Also the 35 lbs is a typo ^^' meant to put 135 lbs. everything else I'll explain when I make the clan~
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:07 pm

okie dokie. Cool beans! *also...wondering where everyone else has run off to....* Oh well, in any case, I plan on getting this site opened sometime this week! YAY!

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Tue Jun 11, 2013 4:06 pm

Sorry, this was overlooked, but you cannot start with a stat over 50. Thanks!

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:26 pm

Oh okay.
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:34 am

you need 2 more paragraphs in his personality. Other than that, it's great! Just don't forget to make the Akihiko Clan!

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:28 pm

I won't. It doesn't seem like I'm working on it but I've already done everything you asked. I work on it in my notes on my phone. Just need to complete the RP sample and I'll be ready! ^^
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:27 pm

okie dokie!

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 16, 2013 6:10 pm

I finally figured out my problem and my app is complete. I added a lot more to the personality, I just didn't break it into even paragraphs. None the less, I'm done, and I'm going to curl up in a ball now.
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:37 pm

awww. well, I hate to do this, but you still have some issues, though minor. If you could just change the short sentences you have spaced like paragraphs in your backstory, then you're good to go. You can either place them into your other paragraphs or extend them a bit. I do really like this character though. And you need to finish the Akihiko clan if not finished.

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:10 pm

Aww that's my personal writing style. I color my dialogue and put it into their own paragraphs to distinguish it from the rest of the post. But I guess I'll change my habits since you asked so kindly.
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:15 pm

Aaand done
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Name: Nakago Yaiba
Elements: Wind, Fire, Earth
Fighting Styles: Ninjutsu Master, Fuinjutsu Master, Taijutsu Master, Iryojutsu Master

PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:57 pm

One last thing, can you explain your minor flaw more?

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Element(s): Wind, Fire, Earth.


Fighting Skill(s):

Iryojutsu: 43
Fuinjutsu: 50
Taijutsu: 41
Ninjutsu: 41

Combat Skills(s):

Stats:

Strength: 50 +12
Agility: 50 +12
Stamina: 50 +15
Constitution: 40
Dexterity: 35 +27
Wisdom: 30
Fate: 


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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:08 am

Sure thing. Done.
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:12 am

Approved. get your free starting jutsu by putting them in an update topic.

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:14 pm

Un-approved. You have 50 stats to many. As a jounin you start with 210 stats, you have 260 stats. Can you please fix this and I will re-approve it asap.

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:26 pm

oh crap. I didn't see that! Agh!

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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:14 pm

Sorry for the wait. Fixed it.
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PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:31 pm

Re-approved. Since no one gave you your fate ... Approved with 5 fate.

Unless I missed someone, I think this is our first Youmei. Someone bust out the snacks, we gotta celebrate!

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Name: Nakago Yaiba
Elements: Wind, Fire, Earth
Fighting Styles: Ninjutsu Master, Fuinjutsu Master, Taijutsu Master, Iryojutsu Master

PostSubject: Re: Vaxn Oro (Complete)   Wed Jul 31, 2013 12:27 am

No, he gets 4 fate. Fate is given by the overall quality of the app. His history is excellent, and his personality is decent, but his looks are only 1 paragraph. That brings down his fate.

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Element(s): Wind, Fire, Earth.


Fighting Skill(s):

Iryojutsu: 43
Fuinjutsu: 50
Taijutsu: 41
Ninjutsu: 41

Combat Skills(s):

Stats:

Strength: 50 +12
Agility: 50 +12
Stamina: 50 +15
Constitution: 40
Dexterity: 35 +27
Wisdom: 30
Fate: 


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